Note to self:

NEVER EVER "overdose" on birth control pills. I never want to feel this way, ever again. At least I know it's just stupid hormones and there's nothing seriously wrong with me. Phew.

that's what princesses do.

I can't wait for 500 days of summer, bruno, that new disney princess movie, and a bunch of others I can't think of. I want descendents vans, a sewing machine, and a bunch of dresses that I should not blow all my money on because I gotta get a new computer soon. I've been really overly anxious lately and sad, and it's because my body's all messed up for various reasons and I gotta go to the doctor. I want flowers. Preferebly peonies or roses. I need more hours at work, and my boss gave me keys so I feel important. I really want a kitten too, a tuxedo kitten with green eyes. I wanna have a good fourth of July/rest of the summer because it's been really iffy since it's started. I have to pick out all my classes and whatnot for fall, and write out my thank you letters, AND cash a bunch of checks but I've been far too lazy. Today my mom gave me a lecture about how bad immodium is for you, WHATEVER. I hope forever 21 didn't lose my dresses in the mai, they should have been here by now. I can't wait to see away we go. Breakfast food is the best kind of food, ever, and should be eaten throughout all times of the day. Especially chocolate chip pancakes and bacon-including turkey bacon because that's really really good too. I'm watching princess protection program, it's probably the first disney channel movie I've watched in forever. It's cute, I love Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. I wish I was friends with them. I wish I was back at the beach again. I wish my body wasn't so fucked up. I wish it'd rain, I like the rain. I can't wait to see my boyfriend. I've been in and out of sleep in pain all day. Some shit that's going on is sort of a bummer. I'm looking forward to a lot of things this summer, but also dreading a lot of them as well. Probably dreading more maybe? I think I start school in August, so my sumer's gonna be real short. I can't wait for my birthday even though it's like five months away. I want this whole year over with so I can (hopefully) be in Temple and already be living on my own in the city. I can't be selfish but I sort of already am with certain things. It's kind of stinky but whatever.

Closing Time.

I did it. I made it out alive without going absolutely insane. It feels really amazing to finally be done high school but at the same time I'd love to go back and relive all of it for a week or something. I feel so old right now even though I'm really not. It's kind of a scary/exciting feeling at the same time.

I've been at the beach for the past four days and it's been quite amazing despite the shitty weather. Wildwood and girls night shore edition were so fun. I wanna go back!

My mind won.

I just woke up from the worst nightmare I've had in a really long time. It felt so realistic that it was really hard for me to wake up. I need to get rid of all this stupid anxiety over things that probably won't ever happen, I just really don't know how though. It's really getting in the way of one of the best things in my life right now and if I lost it because of my stupid insecurities I don't know what I would do.

Time to move on and forget about all of this. It's no good. I just need some help, patience, and a good nights sleep.

I'm starting to get really bummed again regarding my situation for the upcoming school year. I guess because I should have done more, and because it's not entirely what I want. I hope I can somehow find some good in the situation. I really wish I had my shit together.

Help.

Where has time gone? Everything is happening so fast. I'm graduating in two weeks and it couldn't come any sooner. My new car is wonderful. Yet something is missing and I don't know what...I might...