Somewhere between the wrong is right.

Lately I've been getting in these weird fucking moods when I'm just sitting here alone late at night thinking too too much about retarded shit.


I really want some recees ice cream though.

SOO

For some stupid reason, my texts aren't working. I haven't been recieving them since last night...as pathetic as it sounds, it's really pissing me off.




I think the only cool thing about me is the fact that I share a birthday with Charles Manson...it's kind of morbid I guess, but I think it's AWESOME.

Neutral Territory.

For the first time in a really long time, the idea of having a relationship/signifigant other is absolutely unappealing to me in every way. With the exception of having someone to cuddle with, but that's beside the point. It's just nice to be independent. I don't really mind spending my nights in alone watching movies anymore. I guess I'm starting to find comfort in things that would otherwise make me feel miserable.

Kill.

Somedays I'm so disgusted with myself.
Other days I don't really care.
It's a never ending cycle of me being a retard and I doubt it will ever change.





" I will stay young.
Young and dumb inside.
I have just begun to forget my lines."






I'm going to look back at all this when I'm 23 and laugh and hate myself. However, I doubt anything is worse than my old xangas.

Wake me when you're through being cool.

My feet stink so bad. I just don't feel like wearing socks with my shoes.

If only we were older.

This summer hasn't been bad at all it's just been really really really weird. For a lot of different reasons. I became friends with people I never thought I'd become friends with, and ultimately, things are turning out the way I least expected. Which is both good and bad, especially with what just happened. I've realized that I really need to start doing things for myself regardless of the outcome. In the end, you only have yourself.

Honestly?

I haven't felt this bad/weird in so long. I had so much time to think about the situation and I feel awful. It's weird how quickly things can change but maybe the sooner the better? I don't know. You probably don't know what I'm talking about but it's probably better that way.

.

I want to dive, but i can't find your feet. You with a view so unlike my own. I'm trying on your eyes.




Fuck. i've come to realize that i don't really think i know who or what makes me happy anymore. Maybe i'm just thinking too much about everything. I had a really good talk last night with a good friend and it made me rethink and realize a lot of things.

I guess i'm not as happy with things as i seem and a few people have brought that to my attention. I don't really know though. I tend to jump into things too fast and not think.



I want to live at the ocean so bad. Or somewhere close to it. I'm moving as soon as i possibly can.



I should probably stop here before i get too carried away. I hope my punctuation doesn't bother whoever is wasting their time reading this.

FRICK YOU.

Butter on a summer day.

Today my dad and I had a fairly long talk about what we want to happen to our bodies when we die/funerals/wills, and all that stuff. It was weird and upsetting, but he didn't seem to get mad at me when I talked about my death like he used to. I guess you have to disucss this stuff with your parents at some point. The thought is too weird. I guess he thought it was necessary since my cousin Danny probably won't make it past tonight.


Of course basically every funeral I go to is in Wilkes-Barre.