TIME.

IT DON'T HEAL A FUCKING THING.

Happy Easter.

Stupid holiday.

Running down.

7.

TURN AROUND.

Sometimes, New Jersey.

"The water was bitter cold laid in the raft till it started moving the current just sang, the song was so soothing we stopped along the way on a beach in the sun on a beautiful day
our boats collide, we'd feel the breeze
we'd stay afloat and make the most of everything
by noon we had swung the ropes in the woods
missed all danger, snakes and the floods
burnt by the rays and next to our legs, the water so bitter cold."

Sea Foam Green.

Saturday night my parents decided spur of the moment to let me go to the beach sunday-monday with my brother, his, girlfriend, and my mom. It was pretty much just what i needed after having a terrible week. I love the beach in the winter because everything's so much more empty. I took a walk on the beach for about an hour and my fingers almost fell off.

Today I went job hunting. I applied at about four different places in the mall and one in town. I think I have a job at Journey's but I don't think I wanna work there because they're moving the store and apparently if the manager doesn't like how I work with the move then I'm not guarenteed anything after that. Not only that but he was pretty intimidating so whatever. I like shoes but not that much. I partially only wanted a job there because it'd be sweet to have a discount on Vans. WHATEVER. I don't wanna have to get a job but that's life. Hopefully i get some call backs or something. If not I guess I'll spend another summer babysitting.


I just really really don't wanna grow up.

Boy's No Good.

I'd like to know what's going on. Could you please pick up the phone?

2 of the greatest songs of the 90s.

yes/no?

DON'T WAKE ME UP.

I haven't slept at all this week. I slept for about ten minutes in math class though. Suprised i actually got away with it.

To everyone that's been making me feel better/listening to me, I love each and everyone of you, and I appreciate you more than you know. Monday Carly and Kate dressed up in spandex and bought me awesome chocolate chip cookies and candy. And Sean came over for a little bit too. I love you guys so much.

And I don't even know where to start with you. I can't believe you just left me hanging like that, I'm starting to believe that everything you've ever told me was complete bullshit.

What's the furthest place from here?

It's one of those days where I sit here, think too much, too too much, about how I don't feel like I'm going anywhere. I don't feel like I'm good at anything, I don't feel like I have anything going for me. I feel like what I want is so out of reach because so many other people want the same thing and I don't feel like I'm good enough to get out there. I don't care about school, my grades are horrible. I don't really care about anything and I hate it. I'm just a lazy fuck who sits on the computer and watches movies all day. I hate it, but I keep doing it because I feel like I can't really do anything else. I wish i never quit the piano, I'd be so good by now. I wish I played guitar more because then maybe my sad excuse for a band would have never broken up and I could actually do something valuable with my time. Or I could have started something new already.My parents were right. They're usually always right and I hate it. I procrastinate and I'm such a lazy asshole.


"It hasn't been my day..."

Can't sleep.

I have this very unsettling feeling with all of this. I've felt this way for the past two or three weeks and I've kept it bottled up inside for the most part. Being ignored is one of the things I hate the most. I wasted too much time being upset over this when I should have probably done something more about it, but I'm stupid and I suck at confrontation. I couldn't bring myself to be mean about the whole situation, but now i'm just fucking pissed off.

High Hopes.