Macho Insecurities.

Work today was the best it's been in awhile. No rude customers, all of them were really polite infact, AND there were tons of dogs in the store. Cute ones at that.



I've been so god damn insecure lately and I don't know why. I feel like I can't talk to anyone because I feel like such a whiney bitch. I'm having a hard time trusting people because I don't feel like anyone's sincere or actually cares. Wahhhhhhhhhhh!

The summer ends.

So, summer is pretty much over. I'm just excited for it to be cold again, I hate being hot/sweating/etc. Tonight was a good way to (almost) end summer. It was fun despite getting somewhat lost. I need to start wearing ear plugs more often. I have a case of them I got last summer but I always forget about them come time for a show.


I could go for chocolate chip pancakes right about now.

Teenage Problems.

So, the past two weeks have been pretty bad. Monday I start my volunteer work for grad project. Basically I'm helping out with rescued kitties which should be sweet. I just hope it all works out. School starts in a week which is retarded. I'm not nervous nor am I excited.


I just can't wait until November 12th.

I've shared your lips so now they sicken me.

I think the worst thing about this, is the fact that I know he honestly never even gave a shit about me. I feel so stupid for even believing anything he said to me in the first place, especially since it was said to another girl at the same time. He even said he wishes we never met and he admitted to using me.
I feel so incredibly stupid. Of course I never think this kind of shit will happen to me.
But look. It did.


Fuck you Erik Elko. I hate you so fucking much, and I hope you have a nice life. Just kidding, I hope you're fucking miserable for the rest of your god damn pathetic poor excuse of a life.

Dear You,

You're the biggest piece of shit I have ever met. You've been begging me to give you a second chance for the longest time(aka since you first fucked me over) , and I can't believe I even thought about it. I should've known you were going to fuck me over again, lie to me, and lead me on. I hope she knows what you did, and I hope she also knows what a big fucking lying piece of shit you are. But too bad you're a fucking coward and you probably won't have the balls to tell her. Or maybe you'll tell her over a text message because you're too much of a fucking pussy to pick up the god damn phone. I hope one day someone makes you feel as miserable as you've made me feel, hopefully worse. Words can't describe how much I fucking hate you right now.



So, I was cheated on.(boyfriend before last). HAHA. What a feeling I'll tell you!

We need to talk means you'll never be what I need you to be

There's something about the phrase "we need to talk" that makes me want to vomit my insides.



.....

And with that, I find out I was lied to, again. It sucks when you're actually considering letting someone back into your life that fucked you over really badly, and as soon as you feel okay and you think everything is different, they fuck you over again.




I can't believe I even considered letting him back in. This is why I can't fucking get close to people anymore.

Better off dead.

God damn. It's funny what can happen in a span of just a few hours. laksjdflasifjweifja;g.


I don't even know I feel so weird right now I can't even explain it.

Frustration.

Oh great here I go again.

I really miss having someone to snuggle with but I like not being attached to someone. I hate this feeling. I'm so god damn frustrated right now.





On a positive note, this weather rules.


Fuck summer, I don't give a shit that it's almost over. It hasn't been that great. Fuck the hot weather too. Sleeping in rules, but I haven't been doing much sleeping lately.

5/4

Anyone wanna make me a mix cd? I need more to listen to in my car. I don't have an ipod jack or anything.

Woke up to my cold sheets and the smell of New Jersey.

I know everyone thinks New Jersey is the shittiest place on earth, but I absolutely love it here. I've had more fun in the two weeks I've spent here than I have at home. I miss my best friend and my dog and my bed and my parents, but that's about it.


So my cousin is working at Party Fair for five hours tonight, leaving me to do nothing but nap and watch TV. I can't say that I mind. She has one of the most comfortable beds ever. Next to mine that is. SO, I'm about to doze off when i get a phone call from someone who I've been missing. It made my whole entire day and now I can't take a nap.


Today we went to the beach and it was completely empty. There was literally NO ONE there. central jersey beaches are way different from the ones in south jersey.

I just got a pair of plaid vans and I've had the urge to go out and buy new underwear. I really need to stop buying so much shit just because I have a job.