I couldn't focus in any of my school work, so I decided to take a nap to try and clear my head a little. I was about to doze off when my mom asks me to help bring in groceries. Of course I say no because I'm half asleep, she yells at me, I get up, and my new car is in the drive way. I've never been more greatful for anything in my life. I'm so excited to finally have air conditioning in my car. School ends in about 16 or so days (not counting weekends). I have three more projects to do (actually, one is done), hopefully I can take some days off between now and then. I'm super super busy until the end of June which I suppose is good. I need to have a good talk/need to whine to someone about things (preferably the girls) so if anyone is in a giving mood text me please. There are a ton of things I need to change, and I know I absolutely have the ability to do so. It'll take some time, but it can and will be done. If it's not, I could potentially fuck up one of the most incredible things in my life right now, and I'm not going to let that happen. I've come to realize you can control a majority of the things in your life (well, not for everyone). It's stupid to sit back and whine when you're in control of the situation.


I may delete this soon...

OH NO.

So I had a pretty fantastic weekend. The mans slept over and waking up next to him ruled so much (even though he's a bed hog:) He's pretty much perfect.

I feel like I'm running in place. I feel like I'm exactly where I was a month ago. I feel like no time has passed and everyday feels exactly the same. It's just a weird feeling I guess. I've turned into this retarded person I've always tried to avoid. I guess sometimes bad shit just happens to make you a certain way. It just sucks when it affects people in your life who don't deserve it, and who aren't like the pervious person at all. Being paranoid sucks. GOTTA SHAKE IT OFF like mariah carey would say.

I'm tryin to go on a date once I get my new car, DRIVIN SOMEWHERE FANCY! WHO'S IN?! (and by fancy, i mean the beach or somewhere gay and far)

4.

Is it just me or has everyone been bummed out lately? Four more weeks to go, which means three Mondays. Anxious, scared, overwhelmed for reasons that don't include going to college and graduating. I think I'm the only person in my grade who isn't sad about leaving or scared about college. I'm excited to actually be doing things I want to do. I'm excited to make things start happening for myself. I've randomly been busy, then not busy at all. It's kind of driving me nuts but either way I'm just going to keep myself busy so I don't sit here and cry about how I'm not out of school yet. Sleep.

Don't sleep, dream.

Once these five weeks pass...I'll feel absolutely wonderful. Please go by fast, please. I'm so impatient and school is the only thing in my life that is making me miserable. I just want it to be done. I'm in college now, I go for placement testing Monday. My week is done today, tomorrow I'm going to Six Flags and then Friday I'm going to Hamilton NJ for a photo field trip. FIVE WEEKS, FIVE WEEKS, FIVE WEEKS AND THEN I'M FREE. fuck.

Anxiety asking.

So about an hour ago I was trying to turn on to 611 from almshouse and instead of going up the hill, my car started sliding down and thank god there wasn't anyone behind me. My car was stalling and couldn't go forward and I thought my transmission went. I ended up causing a huge traffic jam and then it started working. I love my mini van.