When it isn't like it should be.

What the fuck am I so afraid of? I really wish I could stop feeling this way. I was never like this before.

I never realized how sheltered my life has been up until now. I'm also way more naive than I had previously thought. I have a lot of growing up to do, but I won't get into that.

nebraska bricks.

I haven't had a really good weekend in quite a long time. I'd like to change that. I'm super bummed about missing UB. That's what I get for waiting too long to make plans/buy tickets. But I'm going to see saves the day with Suzanne and Allie in April which should be fun, I'm excited especially since I've missed Saves The Day the last few times they were in town. If i can somehow get enough money, does anyone wanna fly out to sound and fury? I went tanning today and it made me realize that I'm a bit claustrophobic. I liked it though, it smelled like summer. I'M A NORMAL

and nothing less.

I need to be okay with myself. What's going on this weekend? Also, ALK3 AND SAVES THE DAY?! I need to get my tickets.


Edit:

WHOO SO STOKED FOR SAVES THE DAYYYYYYYYYYYYY WOOF WOOF WOOF! ALSO, THERE ARE ONLY FIVE PHANTOMS GAMES LEFT BEFORE THE FRANCHISE MOVES TO PITTSBURGH. WHO WANTS TO GO?! I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE MY GRANDMA'S MINI VAN TO THE CITY BUT IF YOU DRIVE ME I'LL THROW IN GAS MONEY AND BUY YOU FOOD. PLZ.

also these songs rule.

The city is just beyond those clouds.

If there was an award for procrastinating, I'd win hands down. This weekend was pretty good, and I really hope the upcoming weekend is decent at least since everyone and their mom is going to United Blood and I waited too long to make plans. Wahhh. I got a Saturday suspension this week because the teacher who caught me is a stupid fat hog cunt. The lady working the security office was nice enough to let me serve it April 18th instead of April 4th because I'm going to a Phillies game with kate. All I really have to do is clean for three hours. I'm a woman, it's what I'm best at.

Every weekday up until June 19 is going to be torture. Until then I hope I can find some happy medium.

Body in a box.

My mom was nice enough to let me stay home today since we got home close to two last night. I slept until about 11:30 and woke up with a really bad feeling, which hasn't really gone away. I tried to keep myself occupied by doing laundry and watching tv but I really can't stop thinking about it. This sounds really dumb but I feel like there's nothing left in my tear ducts. I'm so exhausted from crying and thinking about everything. I just want it all to go away. I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. This weather isn't even helping me.



I miss you so much.

Pretty pretty kids with the tired tired eyes.

Saturday and Sunday were just what I needed. I have the absolute best friends/boyfriend, and everyone definately made me feel better. Coming home last night sucked. I got really bummed so I just went to sleep really early. I'm dreading tomorrow more than anything. I really can't be in my house. I need to be around people.

I want to live in america.

It really sucks losing a relationship with someone you really care about, and then finding out they're dead in a motel room. It sucks that my family had virtually no relationship with my uncle for the past two years. It was mostly his fault, but either way, it still sucks and I'm really going to miss him. He and I were so god damn close when I was younger. I remember everytime I used to see him, he'd pick me up, spin me around, and sing this to me



RIP uncle oscar. thank you for teaching me how to say octopus in spanish, thank you for letting me smack your bald head as hard as i wanted to, thank you for playing the airplane game with me as much as i wanted to, and thank you for watching cops with me at 2 am in my basement and not telling my parents. I wish things didn't fall apart.

I woke up at four in the morning with this song stuck in my head.

Anywhere is better than here.

I could write another post about how fucking sick and tired I am of school and how I can't wait to graduate but I'm not. GOD DAMNIT.

This weekend was good minus Friday. I really hate first friday. It lost its fun mid jr year. It made me miserable so instead of going to a party I went home and slept. The show Saturday was really fun despite being super tired but it was super nice out aka SHORTS WEATHER. The diner after was real fun. Halfway through the night allie invited me to sleep over her house with Suzanne and Erica which was fun. No dressing up or anything, just bathroom talks about serious stuff haha. It still ruled. I went to bed at 7 yesterday SERIOUSLY WTF AND I'M STILL TIRED WAHH WAHH WAHH.







I love you, Ne-Yo.

Secede.

I really wish I wasn't so tired all the time. I know I say it a lot but it's true. I'm so miserable when I don't get any sleep and I never wanna hang out or do anything. All I wanna do is just go home and lay in bed. It turns me into the biggest bitch in school. I seriously hate almost everyone I see in school just because it's school. I wouldn't give two shits if it was anywhere else. I really can't wait to graduate. I wouldn't hate school as much if I didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn every damn day. I know I'll probably miss high school one day when I wake up and I'm 30 thinking "WHAT THE FUCK?!!@#$".

I really hate when my mom doesn't inform me that people are coming to work on our house. I hate coming home to complete strangers. It creeps me out. Seriously, all I wanna do is eat all the food in my kitchen and walk around with no pants on but it's really hard when some strange man who doesn't speak english is in my way. I think I'm going to stop my volunteer work soon. As much as I love spending time with the cats, it's become more of a chore to wake up at 9 every Saturday. I know it's not that early or anything, but I'd really like to be able to sleep in as late as I want more than one day a week. I feel really run down.

Take me I'm yours.

This weekend was pretty fucking awesome. Girls night at allies after the show Friday was so much fun even though stinky boys invaded. We dressed up and went to Genaurdi's, only to find out we forgot money but eventually we got icing and Mariana pretty much baked the whole damn cake and it was so good. I love my friends so much.


Saturday I had to work in the morning and of course the register didn't work. SO I had to use the calculator until my boss could come in and fix it which really sucked. Some old guy was being a huge dick about it but THAT HAPPENS IN RETAIL. Edison was cool even though I felt sick on the way there.

I don't have school tomorrow and I'm stoked. I'm in such a good mood right now. I get to sleep in, I'm seriously dating the cutest most awesome boy ever, and my friends fucking rule. WOOF WOOF.