Winding up.

Last night I went to nfg at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, New Jersey. First of all, worst venue I think I've ever been to. There were WAY too many people there. I almost got puked on a few times. I was pinned up against some wall by some smelly drunk dudes including this fucking obese motherfucker that had his ass in my stomach for what seemed like forever. We got SO fucking lost. It took us three hours to get there because we ended up on Perth Amboy twice, ended up on the wrong side of the parkway, and we kept having to turn around. I was kinda pissed because I thought we'd miss nfg, but we ended up getting there right when A Day to Remember was playing or whatever. Band fucking sucked but everyone was going insane for them. Nfg was awesome though. They played a good mix of everything, including a couple good oldies. It only took us an hour to get home though. HA.


I just got my 50mm lens in the mail. I'm so excited to try it out and see how it works WHOOO. I'm saving up for the nikon d90 because my d50 is randomly starting to malfunction on me. But I mostly just want a new camera body. I have a lot saved up so I think in a month or two I'll have enough for it. I'm pretty sure it's not even out yet.


OH, and Staggered works is putting out a newspaper and they're looking for photographers, artists, writers, etc. I think so far Manny and I are the only photographers (coughlizcough), and Kate and Sean might be writers. but if anyone reading is interested e-mail tony@staggeredworks.org.


Okay, this is really dumb but is anyone who's good at drawing willing to draw out my tat for me? I have this idea in my head but I draw like a retarded first grader so I'm not even going to attempt it. If so, IM babeh danii.

Cannonball.

I talk too much. My hair needs to grow. I've been overly anxious lately. Kids at school are so fucking annoying. ESPECIALLY stupid little sluts that try and hop on every older guys dick. Stop talking about senior week, September isn't even over. You probably won't even like the kids you're planning on going with by the time the school year is over, but it's not even like I have a ton of friends to "get a house" with or whatever. I wish I could date Adam Sandler. I have a crush on him, along with someone else. I'm never telling. I'm most likely only applying to one school, suck my dick if you think I HAVE to apply/look at other schools. I want to rescue a kitten but my mom won't let me. BOO.

Cats and dogs.

Back to feeling like complete shit. Fuck everything.

Over the head, below the knees.

I'm having such a weird day. Lately I've been so hard on myself. I feel so stupid. I really feel like I have nothing going for me at the moment. My friends are all so smart, but here I am, the retard. They all have such high expectations for themselves. They have good grades and are able to get into good schools. I know this sounds retarded and I know I should be happy for them, but it makes me feel terrible. I feel like I'm honestly not going to do anything decent with my life. Everyone's talking about going to college and whatnot, here I am, only applying to one school because I know won't be able to go anywhere else within my reach. I know, it's bitchy, whiny, and stupid, but it sucks. I know I did it to myself. I hate this growing up process. Fuck everything.

Car.

My car's been making really fucking weird vibrating noises or whatever. My dad and I just changed the oil and he looked at the engine, but we don't really know what's wrong with it. I can't get it into the shop until next week, and there's a possibility it might die along the way. If it did I'd be so sad. I love my station wagon:(

There's no way I can talk myself out of this one.

Alright. Here I go again. I hate having crushes. It's the first time in forever that I'm actually too afraid to do anything about it because I know in the long run, it's probably not going to work out and I should just keep my mouth shut and yeah. It's too soon, and I'm trying NOT to do that shit all over again. I'm such a retard when it comes to stuff like this. I almost always have a crush on someone (or a few people for that matter). And for the most part they're stupid retarded little girl crushes. I'm fairly sure this is no different so yeah, MOUTH SHUT.

ANYWAYS, this weekend ruled. Especially yesterday. Legally Blonde was amazing (I'm a faggot, I know), AND I got back from the city in time to go to Cold World. I slept like shit though.


I really only hate my life when I'm in school, specifically on A days with i have my two retard classes.

I lost my voice, hope I didn't break it.

I'm exhausted. I've been waking up in the middle of the night and sleep texting and saying retarded things to people. You know who you are, sorry for that.


All guys are scumbags. The End.