Oh great here I go again.

I really miss having someone to snuggle with but I like not being attached to someone. I hate this feeling. I'm so god damn frustrated right now.





On a positive note, this weather rules.


Fuck summer, I don't give a shit that it's almost over. It hasn't been that great. Fuck the hot weather too. Sleeping in rules, but I haven't been doing much sleeping lately.

5/4

Anyone wanna make me a mix cd? I need more to listen to in my car. I don't have an ipod jack or anything.

Woke up to my cold sheets and the smell of New Jersey.

I know everyone thinks New Jersey is the shittiest place on earth, but I absolutely love it here. I've had more fun in the two weeks I've spent here than I have at home. I miss my best friend and my dog and my bed and my parents, but that's about it.


So my cousin is working at Party Fair for five hours tonight, leaving me to do nothing but nap and watch TV. I can't say that I mind. She has one of the most comfortable beds ever. Next to mine that is. SO, I'm about to doze off when i get a phone call from someone who I've been missing. It made my whole entire day and now I can't take a nap.


Today we went to the beach and it was completely empty. There was literally NO ONE there. central jersey beaches are way different from the ones in south jersey.

I just got a pair of plaid vans and I've had the urge to go out and buy new underwear. I really need to stop buying so much shit just because I have a job.

Somewhere between the wrong is right.

Lately I've been getting in these weird fucking moods when I'm just sitting here alone late at night thinking too too much about retarded shit.


I really want some recees ice cream though.

SOO

For some stupid reason, my texts aren't working. I haven't been recieving them since last night...as pathetic as it sounds, it's really pissing me off.




I think the only cool thing about me is the fact that I share a birthday with Charles Manson...it's kind of morbid I guess, but I think it's AWESOME.

Neutral Territory.

For the first time in a really long time, the idea of having a relationship/signifigant other is absolutely unappealing to me in every way. With the exception of having someone to cuddle with, but that's beside the point. It's just nice to be independent. I don't really mind spending my nights in alone watching movies anymore. I guess I'm starting to find comfort in things that would otherwise make me feel miserable.

Kill.

Somedays I'm so disgusted with myself.
Other days I don't really care.
It's a never ending cycle of me being a retard and I doubt it will ever change.





" I will stay young.
Young and dumb inside.
I have just begun to forget my lines."






I'm going to look back at all this when I'm 23 and laugh and hate myself. However, I doubt anything is worse than my old xangas.