For the first time in my life

I feel like i have absolutely no control over anything going on.

Jimmy Brooks.

Alright, it's really weird to me that Aubrey Graham aka Jimmy Brooks aka "Drake" is now a famous rap star? I've been watching Degrassi: The Next Generation since I was about 11, and ever since I could remember, or at least in most episodes, Jimmy has tried to jump-start some sort of a rap career; and now he's Drake? He's actually a famous rapper? This is really weird to me and I have a hard time taking it in sometimes. Wheel chair Jimmy, Jimmy who dated Ashley, Jimmy who got shot, Jimmy who was a virgin on the show, NOW HAS A FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL MUSIC CAREER? It rules. I love Drake forever. 

Goes to college...

Boston was wonderful. I didn't want to go home. Not to quote have heart or anything but it really is beautiful. Spending three days in a random city with my best friend was just what I needed. I start my first day of college tomorrow. I'm nervous and not excited at all. I really don't want to go, especially not to this school, but I'll suck it up and deal with it. wahh wahh wahh.

I've also come to the conclusion that I let myself go... really really bad. I need to start taking better care of myself again / exercising more / eating better and getting an adequate amount of sleep each night (if possible).

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Big slumber party in Kelsey's room, suicide file, blacklisted (never disappoints), seeing people I normally never get to see, sweating out all the water I drank and more, Buffalo Bill, my security guard girl, girl talks, snuggling, and more. TIH has defiantly been the highlight of my summer. The weekend was everything I hoped it'd be in more. Now I'm off to Boston, the beach for one last time, then school and Blink 182.

Goes to college.

I start school next week. This is a weird feeling.

I am me and I am mine.

I guess I've sort of come to accept that people come in and out of your life, and that's just the way it is. Sometimes you can't do anything about it. It's a never ending cycle of growing up and changing, and that's just how it is. I guess I'm trying to accept things for how they are and to stop focusing on the bad and just focus on the good.


I'm really debating on going through with getting my saves the day tattoo within the next week or so. I'm a puss when it comes to keeping things from my parents, but I might just do it.

Can't stop.

I haven't seen flashdance, but god damn do I love the music. I can't stop listening to these songs.

Still grasping for friends. Excited for school to start. Just want summer to end.

Lost in an illusion.

Not only do I feel like I'm living in a bubble, but I feel like I've been sort of grasping for friends at this point.

Part of me just wants to put all of the bullshit that happened a year ago aside and just move on and forget about it, part of me just wants to keep on hating. I never realized what a weak person I am, and it scares me.


Lost.

My brother is getting married next year. Unreal. He and his fiance just moved into an old school house in Doylestown right down the street from kates house. I'm excited to finally get to spend time with him after barely seeing him for two years straight.