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What do you do when it twists all around?

I need to start putting things more into perspective. I need to stop over analyzing every little thing and just accept things/people/situations for how good or bad they are and just accept it. I need to take a step back and take everything in. I'd like a nice two week vacation, preferably back to the beach. My stay was far shorter than I had hoped it'd be, but that's because I had to go back to the work/school reality thing. That's life, that's growing up, and I need to stop being a huge baby and accept it. I need to stop being so down on myself all the time and just accept the way I am. I need to be happy with myself. 

I hope this year goes by really fast. I'm not looking forward to my upcoming birthday for obvious reasons. I also need to stop being a baby, really, it'd do me some good. Grow up, suck it up, and shut up. 

This is probably my last post for a really long time. 

Lose yoself.

What a nice weekend at the shore/city...now back to reality. I wonder how much longer I'll be able to stand this place. 

Trees seem a little deader.

I have to keep telling myself it's not so bad. It's not where I want to be, but, it's not so bad. If I just keep my nose in those books, I'll be okay. I feel really far away from everyone. I hate still living in the suburbs. It's too boring. I'm really worried things aren't going to work out for me. One anxiety leads to another...and another...and another...

In other news, my boyfriend is wonderful and is honest to god probably one of the very few things making me happy right now. I need a change of scenery, and a long vacation.

For the first time in my life

I feel like i have absolutely no control over anything going on.

Jimmy Brooks.

Alright, it's really weird to me that Aubrey Graham aka Jimmy Brooks aka "Drake" is now a famous rap star? I've been watching Degrassi: The Next Generation since I was about 11, and ever since I could remember, or at least in most episodes, Jimmy has tried to jump-start some sort of a rap career; and now he's Drake? He's actually a famous rapper? This is really weird to me and I have a hard time taking it in sometimes. Wheel chair Jimmy, Jimmy who dated Ashley, Jimmy who got shot, Jimmy who was a virgin on the show, NOW HAS A FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL MUSIC CAREER? It rules. I love Drake forever. 

Goes to college...

Boston was wonderful. I didn't want to go home. Not to quote have heart or anything but it really is beautiful. Spending three days in a random city with my best friend was just what I needed. I start my first day of college tomorrow. I'm nervous and not excited at all. I really don't want to go, especially not to this school, but I'll suck it up and deal with it. wahh wahh wahh.

I've also come to the conclusion that I let myself go... really really bad. I need to start taking better care of myself again / exercising more / eating better and getting an adequate amount of sleep each night (if possible).